You Snarky Blogger You

First, why am I not a sociologist? Oh yeah, no money. Even so, I'd like to run this kind of study. So coolie. If you want a quick and dirty read on it, visit Slate's story. And don't pass up the bit about Hill. I'll never get why folks are so hard on her. First, she stood by her man, now she's standing by Newt for Christ's sake, and still, the gal gets no respect from the right.

Going Home Again

And yes you can. Home is where they keep my mom, dad, and sister. My brother, well, he’s a curious bird, but they just so happen to keep him there too.

I’m going home for a purpose beyond my usual coffee with mom, shopping with sis, eating with dad. My dad is having surgery and I’m going home to advocate for him in the hospital and care for him post-surgery. Oddly enough, I’m feeling both blessed to be able to do this and profoundly weirdy that anyone need advocate or care for a man the size of Montana. By comparing him to Montana I don’t mean to imply he ought diet. No, his personality is HUGE. When he was younger it was hard for him to tame and it often cast a shadow on the rest of us, but that’s the price you pay for inheriting an Ali-type personality .

Each one of his children is also big. Each one of us have large opinions. In my case, about justice, in my sister’s about family, in my brother’s, well, he’s a republican so none of us claim to get him. And each of us are resilient and strong and we learned that from him too. So it’ll be hard to see him feeling yucky and sleepy and drugged, but he’s a rock and I know he’ll be just fine. And I’ll get to rub his bald head and kiss him on the forehead without his grumbling about his lack of hair. That’ll be fun for me.

Some Images I Thought Super Fun

Image lifted from this fun site.

And from there I went here and can I just say I LOVE this woman's work! Nearly every one of them made me laugh. Here are a couple of my favorites. (Sorry to the cat lovers, of which I am not one.)

Entitled: Why I Hate Cats



And this is so true:



Oh, and it's freezing cold in here.

Let Him Eat Cake!

I delighted in this poem.

Huh

I'm not proud...

Braggart You are 85% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 0% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. Your personality defect is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night, in hopes that eventually everyone else on the planet will agree. Well, sorry, we probably won't. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive. 2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more ARROGANT than humble. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.

...okay, maybe I am!!

via Sarcasmo's Corner

My Neighborhood

I’m a city girl. Have always been. Even though I was raised in the ‘burbs. The clean, safe, nature ridden, low property taxed ‘burbs, however, could not hold this girl. Nope, raced into Detroit and, just to be sure I wouldn’t try to escape at my first experience of conflict, I bought. It cost 40 Gs because of the neighborhood, which was actually pretty good for Detroit. I only heard gunshot’s three times in my full three years of living there. I thought those good numbers. One thing that did bother me though, was the infestation of garbage strewn about each street.

So, after selling my house at a tidy profit, I moved to Portland Oregon, in hopes of a cleaner city. It was. But it was also a city of idealistic liberals and self-important do-gooders, convinced that they can easily change the world if “everyone were just more like us.” But my sense of “us” was white, middle class, entitled and progressive in regards to trees and social issues. But progressive in the later sense only in so far as theory because their theory was never tested. Oddly enough, everyone that lived in Portland was “just like” them.*

I quickly found myself yearning for “real” folks with problems and struggles. Blue collar folks that worked hard and played hard. That drank PBR and didn’t give a shit about the trees. “Fuck those trees, I gotta put food on the table.” I get that approach to life. Don’t get me wrong, I was raised middle class and entitled. I was also raised by a life long UAW worker, professed and loyal democrat alongside a feminist, if in theory only, with an idea that we could only earn our place on earth by skootching over a little for folks that didn’t have enough space of their own.

Hence, South Philly. South Philly is nothing if not blue collar, full of struggles and conflict. But again with the god forsaken trash! I can’t take it, makes me crazy. Walking to Rita’s to get a water ice, I had to step over empty bags blowing in the wind, cigarette butts, cans and bottles…you name it. And then it occurred to me, instead of ticketing litter bugs (which never happens as far as I can tell), ticket those folks that don’t keep up their sidewalk, especially merchants. Should be part of the cost of doing business in a community; should be a legal responsibility. I mean why not? All of that trash comes from merchants, right? McDonald’s bags, coke cans, ice tea bottles, snickers wrappers….all making money, all sold in my community, all littering my life, all contributing to a sense of helplessness and depression. All sucking big time. So way can’t the consumer demand that the merchant give back by sweeping three times a day…whatever it takes. Why not??



*Please note that along with my general experience in Portland, it remains on the of the cities in which I made the closest, most generous group of friends a gal could ask for. This group of people, I still contend, though I’m sure they may beg to differ, were the exception to the rule.

For the Ladies

A List of My Favorite Stuff

Because Nothing is Better Than Recommendations for Quality Products

I’m not proud. Got me some adult acne. Noticed this on EJ’s shelf while visiting her place years ago. Love it. Use it. It fixes all the facial troubles.

Big fan of the hemp hand protector. Awesome. Turned on to this at Poppy’s Spa Party.

Lovin’ this razor.

Thinking the Almay powder is the best of all.

Also, this mascara, while very inexpensive, is fantastic.

OB, ‘nuf said.

For pretty feet. It really works if you’re about scrubbing. I prefer the professional pedi, but in between, this is a good stand-in.

This moisturizer is light and not too smelly and quite affordable. Better than Clinque in my humble opinion.


I love this thing so much, I bought one for VM. My sis tipped me to it.

Seeking out recommendations for the following:

The best, longest lasting nail polish.
The best, longest lasting, non-drying lipstick and lip moisturizer.
The best under eye concealer. For those awful dark circles.

Please recommend other products that you love too. I love the products.

Always a Master, Never a God

You are a MASTER of the English language!


Huzzah. While your English is not exactly
perfect, you are still more grammatically
correct than just about every American. Others
admire the way you speak and could learn a lot
from listening to you. Still, there is always
room for improvement...


How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay. It's my own doing, but...

...I might have to get this to get through this.

Coupla Things - Okay a Few

First:
Went downtown yesterday, eager to fulfill my civic duty. I didn’t even do any research prior to going. I was jazzy-jazzed. Turns out it was for a crime pretty well known in these parts (which, in itself, is noteworthy because much crime happens here…hence, it’s gotta be somehow spectacular to be known).

So, long story short I sit for hours on end waiting, waiting, waiting to convince the judge and lawyers that I am the gal for them; completely impartial, completely rational and very VERY deliberative. Then they inform us that the trial is to determine whether this guy, sitting RIGHT OVER THERE IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME, is a three time rapist who posed as a police officer, claiming to “arrest” local prostitutes, but instead kidnapped them and raped them and threw them away like so much used trashed. I have to say that while I was flipping the guy off and screaming: Bastard!!!!!! Mother fucking bastard!!! (in my head) I must have blew the interview and I sorta lost my chances of serving. Dammit.

Second:
I had the delightful opportunity to help my friend Lizzy-bird pack to move too far away from me this evening. It was good to just be with her. She’s one of those gals with incredible playful energy. One that everyone so enjoys. It’s hard to slow her down enough for a chat and I was lucky enough to have a moment to see her. It’s been a while, to my failing. I’ve been kinda of in my head lately and haven’t taken advantage of my lucky proximity to her wonderful person. But I feel like I saw her last evening, in all her brilliance and happiness. She’s starting a new life with her partner and I just think she’s courageous and wonderful and I think her partner is also wonderful and they are a great, funny, generous couple and I’m so darn excited for her. It’s just all brilliant.

Third:
Amazing Race tonight. It had better be Uchenna and Joyce alls I gotta say.

Fourth:
Mother’s Day rocked, even though I didn’t get my request gifts (see two posts ago). Even so, went to the park with my favorite guys and had a nice picnic on a beautiful day. Delightful.

The Charge, Once Again,...

...can easily be likened to this bastard of a
pissed off frog.

For Mother's Day

I would like this and this. Thank you very much.

Good 'Rents/Bad 'Rents

First for The Good:

Bubber brushes (I’m very proud of this fact, as you know).

Bubber laughs often and earnestly.

Bubber walks!—really has nothing to do with us, but I think that we should get to claim some sort of contribution here…if only getting out of his way.

Bubber is nearly off of the bottle. Good thing since his father and I have been off of it for a few years ourselves.

Bubber’s communication skills are flourishing; he signs “milk”, waves goodbye, says “doo-dah” (Gouda) every two seconds, says “dah-dah” nearly as much as doo-dah, and says “mah-mah” only when he’s in pain (I’m trying not to take this personally).

Now The Bad:

Bubber nearly got sent out of the house with oompa-loompa pants this morning. They were his last pair of clean pants (even fished out of the “hate them, put them in storage” basket).

Bubber wore dirty pants to daycare today.

Bubber has been afflicted with a book addiction. His father and I are assailed with the same illness, but we should have protected Bubber from it. Case in point, Bubber Boo refused to leave the house today without a book and insisted on “reading it” on the way to daycare rather than having an meaningful conversation with his mother. Not good. Pretty sure he’s going to need therapy.

Bubber hits. I know, normal toddler stuff, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with some failing on our part—or not.

Our home remains un-childproof.

On a More Personal Note

(Not really personal, but not so much the political/ethical/newsie banter I usually kick around.)

SK and I were lounging in front of the idiot box (naturally, after BB went to sleep) and Gouda started FREAKING OUT. (Which is saying something because if you know anything about Gouda, you’d know that his general dispositional mode is “freak out.” So when I say FREAKING OUT, I mean that for all that is holy in this world, if the house was a ship we’d have to batten down that hatches!!!) (By the by, I’m feeling very parenthetical today, which is a good indication that my mind is in 12 places at once…very humming bird-esque.)

Anyway, the beast was jumping up and down, from the window, to the door, to the window, to the door, barking the bark of the insane (which is usually okay with us because we believe that he believes that he is keeping us safe and that, after all, is his job as dog and we try to respect that.) But then it didn’t stop in its usual timeframe. He just kept jumping and jumping and barking and jumping—nearly waking Bubber Boo and we just CAN NOT HAVE THAT!

So, long story short, I dragged my lazy self from my chair (it is MY CHAIR regardless of Gouda’s claims on it—I’m not kidding!), poked my head out of the window and low and behold, Gouda’s nemesis sits, poised, with tender white paws, perfect Asian anime eyes , ears with wisps of soft fur growing round, and, finally, gently throbbing juggler, blinking innocently.

“What? Does it bother you that I might wish to sit on your steps, oh Gouda?-Oh one that chases me up trees upon exiting your front door daily? Do you find it disconcerting that I should wish to relax here, where I can be smelled and seen but not gotten?”

And it made me so happy. It made me so, just, darned happy. Oh joyful rebellious kitten, oh underdog of the bullying dog. You sit there pretty one, you claim your space in life and on my steps, you make him nuts while you can, because tomorrow he’ll chase you back up that tree, but today, oh today, the power is yours.

I will forever love that cat.

Hehe

This amuses me greatly.*

*thanks kds

Interview Meme

Sarcasmo, a truly delightful friend and fellow
blogger, invited me to participate in an interview meme (and by “invited” I mean I begged her to come up with questions for me and she graciously accommodated).

How it works:

One blogger poses five questions to another blogger. That blogger answers the questions, then agrees to ask five questions to three other bloggers. And so on and so on.

The questions given to me by Sarcasmo and my answers are below. If you'd like to be the next to be interviewed, leave me a comment saying 'interview me'. I will respond by asking you five questions here. You need not have your own bog to participate. You may submit your answers here as well. The questions will be different than the ones below.

Onto the meme.

1. What 3 words do you hope never to have applied to you?

The question, as I first read it read, “What 3 words do you hope never applied to you?” --Which is entirely different than the question as posed, “What 3 words do you hope never to have applied to you?” The latter questions is much easier as that which is applied to me often has little to do with my character and a lot more to do with the applier. In the former question, where the three words would actually apply, I, well, I would be nervous. Even so, I think it’s safe to say that while there is not a direct correlation to the two theorized answers, there is most likely some overlap. So to the question as written.

1. Mean – I try vigilantly not to be mean. I have it in me but often times, even when I believe I am acting in a rational way in response to a set of circumstances, people find my passion a bit off-putting and may even refer to me as “mean.”
2. Selfish – Because selfish people are gross.
3. Thoughtless – Because I try incredibly hard not to be and yet am often claimed to be. Sometimes I think people are very demanding and I get overwhelmed with that, need some down time, and come off as thoughtless. Unlike mean, though, I don’t believe myself to be thoughtless. Even so, a huge drag.

2. In a stunning moment of clarity, our government has agreed to quietly implement a single policy-making or policy-decision as determined by you or allow you to publicly present in a one hour speech at the Capitol - about any topic(s) you feel the need to voice - thereby giving you a chance to potentially persuade them to implement multiple changes - although in the second case their implementing any of your suggestions is not guaranteed. Which do you do and what do you suggest.

I do the first because, well, I’m not much of a gambler. My policy change?

Education Funding.

What I’d do:

I’d level the playing field of education by taking accreditation away from private schools. You heard me right, no more private schools.

I’d contribute the same amount of money to each child’s education regardless of their geography (inner city verses wealthy suburb).

I’d disallow “extra or inequitable funding” gained by such things as property taxes and bake sales as those benefit those in wealthy areas to a greater degree than less wealthy. One child = X dollars, regardless of neighborhood.

I’d contribute 25 percent of all tax revenue to education and provide all children a funded college education.

It was between that and providing each member of our society with health insurance but, I figure, if the masses were well-educated, we’d already have that…soooo, get everyone educated and you can’t help but have a better government and, in turn health care, sooner or later.


3. If you could have a robot servant - what would you have it do? If it
were humanoid in anyway - would you feel the need to provide it with
time off, or give it some manner of wage?

I would like my robot servant to be my wife. I would like her to clean, cook, do laundry, wash the car, run errands, wash the floors, clean the bathroom ect. If she had any humanoid characteristics, I would most definitely have to compensate her and give her time off. That would bite.


4. What one luxury would you afford yourself if money, time, and ethics
were not a concern?

A wife robot.

5. If you were forced to endure two hours of music everyday - music that
would be in your head and that no one else could here - what music would
it be? Would you want the two hours lumped together - or would you
prefer to break it up into segments throughout your day? Would you chose
the same increment of time if you were unable to control what time of
day the music would begin? Presume that you won't necessarily hear the
same song over and over - but that only one genre of music will be
represented.

Ack! I HATE music!! This is like asking what kind of torture I favor when torture is, by definition, torturous! I guess classical. Yes, classical would be my answer. I would do it in a lump and I would behave as if I had a migraine during that time. Bleck, music.