Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I'm a Little Sorry...

...but this is funny.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Tid Bits

Below you will find rules of thumb, hints of politeness you can extend to your fellow human beings and interpretations of moments in life that may be gentler than those you are currently using.

1. If you are staying in a family member's home and they must go to work, do not try to chat them up in the morning. In fact, stay in your room and pretend to sleep in.

2. If you must go….I mean, you've gots to go!!!, do not use your poor planning as an excuse to use the empty handicapped stall. Many lovely folks I know would not DREAM of parking in a capper spot simply because they were running late but do not hesitate to use the capper stall. Don't do it people!! It is wrong!

3. If you borrow something and have lost it, own up and buy a replacement.

4. If you make a mess, clean it up.

5. Allow people to be other than happy. It's okay. It really is.

6. If you need time alone, take it. You're not doing anyone any favors by hanging around when you need to refuel.

7. "Needing time alone" does not equate to "needing time away from you." Don't make that assumption.

8. When someone is reading, they are doing something. Please note that before interrupting.

9. Be gentle with yourself. I mean it. Be gentle! You make a concerted effort to be gentle with other people, why not extend that courtesy to yourself?

10. Being gentle on other people does not include handling them so softly that they run you over. Regardless of their mental state, it is not you job to soothe others at the cost of yourself. Stand up and be firm. You're allowed.

11. Apologize when you're an ass. Note when others are asses and don't pretend they weren't. When you watch Deal or No Deal, note that all of those women, dressed exactly the same, used a objects of desire to open other objects of desire is ass. Tell your sons, "That's ass." It's okay if they're two years old. They still need to know that is indeed, ass.

12. Take your vitamins.

If you have tid bits that may be helpful to others, please add them to the comments section of this post.

Thanks all.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Never Again...

...will I eat egg salad on wheat with blah, blah, blah and sickening gross.



Egg salad on wheat with lettuce and tomato (tomato only on one half) flanked by two spears dill pickles.


*Oh My Gawd
**Best Meal Of All Time

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I Wash My Hands of All of You

The only one thing worse than defending a war on September 11th is publicly criticizing that defense.

If you get in the mud, you'll end up smelling like the pigs.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Oh Thank Goodness

There's a new penis in Japan.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Is it the beatiful leaves on the trees?

Or that I can wear a sweater? Could it be that I broke out the hiking boots? Or is it the new television line-up? - Can't wait for The Amazing Race (as for Survivor, that's another post but let me foreshadow only to say, What's the biggie?). I'm even excited about the maddening Lost...

While that's all great stuff...Fabulous, interesting and worthy of getting out of bed stuff, the real deal is this. Oh the graphs, the photos, the pre-election lame-oh letter to the prez about his shady Sec of D-fence! The yummy life-affirming elections are on their way. Make no mistake. Study up. If I have to vote for freakin' Casey and still find this much joy, you can certainly get a little thrill from the season.