The Lingo I've Heard This Week Alone

"On The Pipeline" for stuff that was promised to some guy you've never met by another guy you've never met but which you must make happen or else.

"Action Item" for things you've got to handle before the next meeting, or else.

"Fast-track" for stuff that has been thrown on the pipeline after you've budgeted your time but that must be done yesterday, regardless.

"Up to speed" for talking smack about your co-workers when hanging out in the cafeteria trying not to sneak a smoke. As in, "Let me bring you up to speed on Matt. He's a freakin' piece of work, that one."

"Integrated solution" for products that are bundled together to solve a problem or several problems that you didn't know that you had.

"Off-line", I actually like this one. I use it often to say, "Shut the hell up and figure it out on your own damn time." Of course, I say it like this, "Wow, that's a great solution Zelda. Why don't you talk to Markus off-line about that and bring us back some thougths on fast-tracking this?"

"Out of the loop" for me.

"Human Resources" for the view of people as captial.

"Value-added" for crap you're willing to give away.

"Win-win" for a comprimise in which everyone is equally jacked.

"Driving Decision" for the freaking reason you have to talk the developers and QC folks into yet another patch build.

"QC" for quality control or the only sane people around.

"Out of scope" for anything that can't be placed under the tent of the driving decision.

"Under the tent" for anything that can be loosely tied to an idea.

"Show-stopper" used in any event that can be construed as remotely problematic for the end-user.

"End-user" for the joker that buys your crap.

"Present that formally" for "You better tell everyone in the world that is your plan, otherwise you're jacked."

"Doc-that" for "Please write that down so I can point at it in a few weeks when you deny having agreed to x."

"ULA" (pronounced you-la) for User License Agreement

Do you have any?

This Week, Thus Far

My MIL loves me...no, hates me!...no, loves and adores!....no, hates and wishes to hurt me subtlety so as to leave undetectable... no, loves and wishes to cook mac ‘n cheese for... no, hates and barks at...no, loves and wishes to chat with incessantly, NO, HATES!, NO, LOVES!, NO, HATES!, NO, LOVES!!!

STOP IT!!!

Other than that I got to have a nice lunch with LI and JA, former co-workers. The kids look good and life has gone on at the old place of employ. Who knew??? I thought for sure they wouldn’t be able to get on without me.

Ubs is still whining, but less. I’ve convinced him that saying “mama” and then pointing is more effective. Trouble is, he’s constantly chirping Mama! Mama! Mama!

Thinking seriously about getting a place in the Poconos this spring so we’re tightening our belts and saving. Flecker-ma-guck.

Dining with poppy this evening, which should be fun. Especially because she is miffed about this and that and a miffed poppy is an entertaining poppy, without fail.

Libs Audi.

This is Awesome

Click here to check out the fabulousness.

It immedately reminded me of something Arasin might put together! Sure, maybe the focus would be more on potatoes than cheese, but even so...

*Sigh*...I miss that Arasin...

Updates

Reading:
I’m close to finishing the Obama book. A fine writer, though I think the book could have stood a bit of editing. Perhaps a hundred pages shorter would have resulted in an even more impactful book.

I will follow the Obama by a book entitled Abraham: A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths, by Bruce Feiler

I will follow the Abraham book by The Metaphysical Club and whatever book club book is picked by the ladies.

Work:
I still hate the paper toilet seat cover things. I’ve tried time and again and it just seems so troublesome and not worth while.

I make coffee whenever I want it now.

I know everyone’s name.

I am such a trusted member of the team that I am annoyed-look worthy. Nice.

Home:
The visit with the MIL is going surprisingly well. I’m into week 2, 2 more to go.

Uncle Charles is visiting for the weekend. Ahem.

Ubs has become a whining machine. I wish we could bottle the whining for parents that do not want another child but continually fight the irrational urge. I could sell each bottle for $5 bucks and use the money to open a non-profit that supplies ear-plugs to parents of children 16 months to 3 years.

On the flip-side, we could bottle the sweet babbling, singing and “reading” and provide it to parents that desire another child but don’t, for some “prudent” reason, make the leap. We could use the profits of that for couples looking to adopt.

SK is a piece of work.

That’s alls I gots. Peace out.

Fear Mongering Bastard

Click here.

"First full-fledged news conference in four months..."

How 'bout this, jackhole?--You do your job to HELP the American people by providing a bank of vaccines and it won't come to that.

Fricking Jerk-off. He thinks we're animals.

It Seems Like in Times of Great Change, Nothing is New

Or is it that nothing is new?

I’m slumping. This is to be distinguished from that state of being “in a slump” as I believe I am actively participating in the process. Time was when I worked and worked and struggled and struggled but it seems the more money I make, the less work I do.

I’m sorry!! Sheesh. I know this is a well-held secret but I’ve decided to let the cat out of the bag. No reason not to really. What’s in it for me? Natta. I’m not invested in not working. I prefer the busyness and activity that comes with heads-down activity, rather than finger-pointing directing.

SK said that I am no longer getting paid to “work”, but that my salary is justified by the responsibility that comes with the position. I am, therefore, institutionalized. My “position” defines me, rather than my work. This makes me itch a little. Just a little.

I think I’d be more okay with such an arrangement if there was good news to read on the ‘net, or if I were a writer and could use the time to craft the great American novel. As it is, I try to fill my time learning MS Project and “following-up.”--Which isn’t so bad. Somehow, though, it feels like I’ve lived this life before and, while not a bad life, I sure could use something new.