Thursday, November 03, 2005

Pee Pops*

I eat popcorn. I enjoy popcorn. I, however, believe that there is an appropriate time and place to partake in this delightfully fluffy snack. Note, the time and place has no correlation whatsoever with work. Let me qualify that, eating popcorn may be okay at work, during work hours even, but popping popcorn is NEVER acceptable at work. NEVER. Let me restate that; it is an olfactory faux pas, nay, an assault on the proboscis to pop corn in the coral ala cubes and is NEVER justifiable. Don't do it people! And, forsaking all that is right in this world, if you care nothing for your coworkers and pop away, DO NOT BURN IT.

If we can acknowledge that merely not caring about one's coworkers should not yield aggression of this sort (only full-out contempt can explain such burning behavior) we all can agree to this basic rule of thumb: Should a co-worker choose to pop the corn and, on top of that, burn it, then we can safely conclude that this act is a purposeful, belligerent and antagonist deed that, as such, must be punished.

Are you with me people??



*My sweet SK has such contempt for the popped corn that he insists on referring to it as "pee pops" because it "tastes like urine." Granted, he's curious, but still.

7 Comments:

Blogger Amy McWeasel said...

Gah! Never ever burn popcorn at work. Never! I don't know if you had already moved on or not, but someone was popping some toffee-flavored corn at work. To me, it smelled like what I imagine burnt urine would smell like.

Don't get me wrong...I like me some popcorn. At home, or in the theater.

So, in short, I am with you on this one.

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amy - that was me and I'm fine with it because having to sit next to the toxic fridge where no one gave a crap what I had to endure smell wize on a daily basis gave me some rights. People had also made stuff in the microwave that literally made me gag from the smell. There is an obvious "I don't give a crap about anyone else" attitude at that company that tends to give everyone else around that same attitute eventually. I figure my one indiscretion in 5 years time should have been completely forgivable.
kds

4:16 AM  
Blogger Aerenchyma said...

See what I mean, the pee pops are too divisive to bring into the work evironment. Just say no people. I've got two words for you: Danger Town.

'Nuf said.

9:06 AM  
Anonymous sjdude said...

OK,

You all know I love burnt popcorn....there I said it. I love the smell, the texture and the taste of those blacky crunchy popcorn...mmmm burners unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:57 AM  
Anonymous sjdude said...

OK,

You all know I love burnt popcorn....there I said it. I love the smell, the texture and the taste of that black crunchy popcorn...mmmm burners unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:57 AM  
Blogger Aerenchyma said...

sjdude, you nearly got your ass kicked when you burnt that popcorn when I was trying to grow a baby. Do you remember? I think I said something along the lines of "If you burn popcorn one more time in the next 4 months, I'm going to kill you dead."

5:43 PM  
Anonymous sjdude said...

ah yes...good times...good times

10:35 AM  

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