Pee Pops*

I eat popcorn. I enjoy popcorn. I, however, believe that there is an appropriate time and place to partake in this delightfully fluffy snack. Note, the time and place has no correlation whatsoever with work. Let me qualify that, eating popcorn may be okay at work, during work hours even, but popping popcorn is NEVER acceptable at work. NEVER. Let me restate that; it is an olfactory faux pas, nay, an assault on the proboscis to pop corn in the coral ala cubes and is NEVER justifiable. Don't do it people! And, forsaking all that is right in this world, if you care nothing for your coworkers and pop away, DO NOT BURN IT.

If we can acknowledge that merely not caring about one's coworkers should not yield aggression of this sort (only full-out contempt can explain such burning behavior) we all can agree to this basic rule of thumb: Should a co-worker choose to pop the corn and, on top of that, burn it, then we can safely conclude that this act is a purposeful, belligerent and antagonist deed that, as such, must be punished.

Are you with me people??



*My sweet SK has such contempt for the popped corn that he insists on referring to it as "pee pops" because it "tastes like urine." Granted, he's curious, but still.