Monday, September 19, 2005

Coupla Things Regarding the New Place

1. This is a question to the ladies because I know that etiquette for men and women is entirely different. So, as may of you know, I’m working at a new place. Tell me, you know those seat covers things? Are you supposed to use those ALL OF THE TIME, or only when you’re going “for real?” as SK would say.*

2. Anyone that is willing to sell stale peanuts to hungry office workers should be shot. I trekked all the way downstairs, down the block, purchased them, squirreled them away in my pockets, excited for the snack, and WHAMO! STALE! The cranberries were good though.

3. If you’re in a coffee pool whereby you put $2 in a week, are you allowed to make coffee at 3 in the afternoon, knowing full that no one else wants any? Somehow these people get through the entire day with one cup of coffee. Madness, I tell you. Madness.

4. Is it really necessary to remember everyone’s name? It isn’t that I don’t believe each and every one of these people to be supremely important, but dang! And to that question, does anyone have a good way of pulling someone’s name out of them when you’ve already been told their name eight times?

5. Note to self: Do not walk into an already running teleconference and say “Hi!” because, most likely, the people on the other end of the phone didn’t see you walk in late and you might have gotten away with it.

6. Note to self: Collect more gnomes.

7. Note to self: Respect the hierarchy.

8. Note to self: Try the burrito across the street this week.

*If you need any elucidation for the meaning of “for real”, please drop me a note.

13 Comments:

Blogger Duf said...

I just cannot resist a comment here: as far as I can tell, there is NO etiquette in the men's room. None. You can do whatever you want in there, and believe when I tell you that many men do.

Ick. I'm going to go wash my hands.

7:29 PM  
Blogger SharonA said...

Always, always with the seat covers at the office. Pretend it is the airport.

5:22 AM  
Blogger Amy McWeasel said...

1. I rarely bother with the seat covers. Any germs will probably be able to penetrate the paper, and I make sure not to leave a mess when I've finished. In my humble opinion, people who leave messes in public bathrooms -and who are physically capable of cleaning up after themselves- should get a raging bladder infection about 60 seconds after exiting the bathroom.

3. Make the coffee once at 3pm just to see what happens. Maybe others secretly want another cup and are just too timid to make it themselves. If you happen to be breaking some sort of unwritten rule, just blame it on being new.

8. What sort of burrito? ;)

6:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The seat covers are not for the seat's protection - they are for your bums protection! You see, when you put them on the seat and then quickly sit down, you trap any cooties that might have been there. Then the cooties can't get you! ;) As for names, I still can't remember some people's names here, LOL!
kds

6:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not use the seat covers cause i think sitting on crinkly tissue paper that's gonna stick to me is icky. I'd rather just be sure the seat is clean, and if I am really worried, i'd rather hover squatting than use the paper thingy. Yuck.

I say make coffee when you damn well please.

Names i am bad with too. I have been at my job since March and there are many people whose names I don't know. One thing i did at home when i moved into my new house, whenever I met a neighbor I would immediately afterwards jot down their name(s) on a piece of paper I keep in the dining room built-in cause I just KNEW I would forget their name in about 10 seconds. Maybe do something like that, a cheat sheet in your desk?
-MZ

10:21 AM  
Blogger Aerenchyma said...

duf-I wasn't gonna say it, but since you implied it here goes, men, by and large, are filthy beasts in regards to restroom usage.

sharona-very few things are you so quickly decisive about. this is very telling.

amy mcweasel-I will not speak of the burrito to which you sneakily refer. Oh you crafty one!

kds-I realize the seat is not the aim (no pun intended), but I believe that co-workers may not *hear* the rustling seat cover and then think that I had failed to protect it, should they wish to use it later in the day. Hence, the quandry.

MZ-I'm a hater of the crinkly and have been known to use the hover method. Again, though, I think my coworkers may dislike this method. --Regarding names, I think post-it notes with names written upon, placed oh so delicately on the name holder's forehead would work quite nicely. Thanks for the lead-in to the idea!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Duf said...

I have seen atrocities in the men's room that made me wretch, and in every setting. I've working in a law firm, a fortune 500 and a college library with a staff restroom, and they all have unspeakable crimes. All. Unspeakable.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Duf said...

Maybe I got all excited - you know, talking about bathrooms and everything - but I forgot to add that I was in a washroom recently that had antibacterial gel that you could put on bathroom tissue and wipe the seat. As a germophobe, I liked it.

Maybe it would be a great way for you to make a name for yourself at your new place. Demand this new antibac technology. Between this and your leadership on afternoon coffee, you'll be a Joan of Arc figure (or a Don Quixote, but either way...)

11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seat covers - If you get a chance, there is an episode of Penn & Tellers show - Bullshit- that dispels the myth that those seat covers protect you (they do not). It's an episode in season 2, I think about germs. Good episode. Besides, when I am in the bathroom, I really don't listen to what other people are doing.

coffee - can you just make 1/2 a pot or something. You are putting money in, so you should be able to make some whenever you want

names - I was just at an event and COMPLETELY forgot the name of someone's organization in 2 minutes. The name of the organization was wolftree, and I turned it into 'rove' How did I get to that?

Reading your post made me realize that I have been putting off the job search because I am quite comfy at my current job. Gotta get over that.

SK sounds like a pig.

Arasin

5:25 PM  
Blogger Aerenchyma said...

duf- you're funny. I like the Joan of Arc take.

Arasin-he is a pig.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally should have warned you about the nut guy! Come to think of it though, SK should have too. Also, make the coffee. Coffee is food of the gods, which may be why you need it more than others ;)
-poppy

8:13 AM  
Blogger mister williams said...

Poppy, I tried to warn her; she doesn't listen.

The sound of rustling paper worries you, huh. I guess that as a man (and I am very manly, indeed) the only time we walk into a stall it's to use it toilet for REAL, so there's no pretention about the rustling of paper. It's those other--uspeakable sounds-- exploding from the neighboring stalls that concern me.

Sorry, you brought up the topic and I'm still working on the art of subtlety.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

answer for number 4 on names....call everyone Bubba...hehe...gimmie a snickers!...NOW!!

10:09 AM  

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