Monday, December 18, 2006


My friend died last week. Unexpectedly. She was brilliant and beautiful. A writer.

My gramma died yesterday. Not unexpectedly. She was feisty and tough. An artist.

I've gone to a holiday party, grocery shopped and walked the dog since they've died.

I've been working and have been surprised when drops of water fall on my hands from tears rolling down my face that I had not noticed I was crying.

I've done laundry, listened to "The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round", and made cereal for dinner since they've died.

I'm trying desperately to make it better so that SK, Ubs and my other beloveds don't have to be faced with my sorrow, which is bigger than me and grayer than me, and silences meā€¦leaving nothing of what they need and what I so wish to give.

There's nothing to be done. I can only be with it. Let it have me. Wish for it to be otherwise and maybe it will get better, like they say.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry about your gramma. Form your brief description she sounds like a neat lady.

If there is anything you need, I'm here.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Kelli said...

Awww, Libs, I'm so sorry about your grandmother. I know how it feels even when it's expected. I'm here for you buddy, if you need me.

7:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah pal, I'm sorry for your losses. Expected or unexpected, grief is grief.

I'm here for you. Nothing is right any more.

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sweetie, so much to deal with! Don't fight the grief or worry so much aboout how the kid and SK will deal... take some time to be sad and just accept the sad. I'm so very sorry. - Mim

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your losses - it's a tough time of the year to lose anyone you love. Feel what you feel, don't try and hide it or hold it in - grief is an overwhelming emotion that demands you pay attention to it, like a two-year-old does. I'm thinking of you, even if I can't physically be there. Donna

8:52 AM  
Blogger Duf said...

I'm sorry for your losses Aerenchyma. I hope you allow yourself time to feel however you feel. From what little I know of SK, I know that you could count on him to give you all the time and space you need to grieve fully.

Warm thoughts to you all from cold snowy, Minnesota. Hang in there.

9:13 AM  

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